Watch this video and tell me what you think…

Instead of searching for possessions and achievements to make you happy, reflect on who you are and find authentic joy within.

We work so hard to have it all: a beautiful home, a loving partner, a successful job and more. But what happens when these successes don’t equal happiness in our lives and we’re left feeling unfulfilled, unsatisfied and unhappy? How do we get onto the road that leads to happiness? And what are we looking for?

It’s common to be unsure about what makes us happy, says psychologist Dr. Robert Holden, director of The Happiness Project in England. “Actually, it’s fair to say that often people don’t know,” he says. To help people figure that out, Dr. Holden runs Happiness NOW. The eight-week course enables participants to embark on a personal development journey to figure out what happiness means to them and how to find joy in their lives.

At the beginning of the program, participants are asked to make a list of possessions, achievements and events they hoped would bring them joy but didn’t. “We thought we knew in the past what made us happy, but that’s not always the case,” Dr. Holden says. “It’s quite difficult to know what makes you happy if you don’t really know yourself very well.”

According to Dr. Holden, you feel happiest when you do begin to get to know who you truly are. “The reason why we’re so interested in happiness is because we want to have an experience of our true self,” he says. “That’s the only reason we really want to be happy. We want to feel that lovely feeling of having no worries: You don’t feel pressure and you don’t really have to compare yourself to anyone. You just don’t have to be somebody.”

Keep in mind that if you’re looking for a person or place to truly make you blissful, you’ll be searching endlessly. “We’ve forgotten where happiness really is,” Dr. Holden says. “It’s your original nature. That’s why authenticity is the key to happiness—because the more true you are to yourself, the happier you’ll be.”

When you stray from the idea that happiness is inside of you, you start turning to people and things to make you happy, Dr. Holden says. “We’ve put happiness outside of ourselves; we’ve put it into our job, into our bank account, our relationships,” he says. “You’ve become so preoccupied with the search for happiness that you’ve actually forgotten that you’re already happy. Searching mode makes happiness external: It’s an outward-directed activity. Following your joy is an internal one.”

Once you focus on finding happiness inside yourself and you’re in tune with your authentic self, how easy is it to remain in this state of bliss? “To stay happy, you have to just keep tuning into happiness inside you. That makes it less of a workout, which requires blood, sweat and tears. Lots and lots of effort.”

By Stephanie Mitchell

Who’s Got Your Back: The breakthrough program written by Keith Ferrazzi, shows you how to become a winner in any field and how you can create a trusted team of advisors who can offer guidance and help to hold you accountable to achieving your goals.

This is an excerpt from the second step of Keith describing Eight Steps To Instant Intimacy. . .

After reading the subhead to this section, you may be thinking, Keith, you’ve gone to far. I’m not prejudiced!

Oh, but you area. We all are. We all make fast and furious prejudgements of others. Consider what happens every time you walk into a roomful of people. You look at someone, they look at you, you size each other up. You’re judging each other.

Prejudice is a simple part of being human. This is the way our minds are designed. Think about it this way: Every day we are inundated with information. Stereotyping is a shortcut that allows the brain to operate day to day in a world overflowing with information. Thousands of years ago, rapid-fire assessments of “Friend or foe?” probably saved our ancestors’ lives. As a result, we’re all both victims and prepetrators of prejudice.

In today’s complex social environment, where we’re meeting countless people, we make wrong judgments all the time. We’ve all met someone we thought we didn’t like, and then later, once we’ve gotten to know them, discovered that we like them enormously and that our initial impressions of them were dead wrong. Some of these people even end up becoming our close friends.

But wait, you think. I’m willing to admit I have prejudices about new people I meet, but I certainly don’t have them about anyone I would consider from my inner circle. Guess again! I can pretty much guarantee that you hold preconceived notions even about your closest friends. Those prejudices are a major reason why so many of us have so few close friends or trusted advisors.

On a larger scale, business organizations, too, have cultural prejudices that get in the way of productivity – sales is dismissive or marketing, marketing is disrespectful of the folks in research, finance seems to hate everyone, and everyone hates the human resources department. And the company as a whole is too often suspicious of customers and their unreasonable demands.

Which is why I believe the best people skill to practice upon meeting new people is to walk into every situation with as few assumptions as possible. If anything, expect the best, and look for ways to express your interest in and concern for the other person.

Eight Steps To Instant Intimacy

1. Create an Authentic Environment Around You Suspend Your Prejudices
2. Suspend Your Prejudices
3. Project the Positive
4. Share Your Passions
5. Talk about Your Goals and Dreams
6. Revisit Your Past
7. What’s Keeping You Up at Night?
8. Future Fears

The Valerie Fitzgerald Group specializes in luxury residential real estate in Beverly Hills, Bel Air, Brentwood, Santa Monica and Malibu. Valerie has more than 20 years of real estate experience and is known for her solid reputation in the West Los Angeles brokerage community. She’s also the author of Heart and Sold: How to Survive and Build a Recession-Proof Business.