Try.
Take chances.
MAKE MISTAKES.
Life can be messy and confusing at times, but it’s also full of surprises. The next rock in your path might be a stepping-stone.
Be happy.
When you don’t have what you want, want what you have.
MAKE DO.
That’s a well-kept secret of contentment.
Life isn’t days and years.
It’s what you do with time and with all the goodness and grace that’s inside you.
MAKE A BEAUTIFUL LIFE…the kind of life you deserve.
With the onset of spring and daylight savings in effect, we have more time to enjoy the outdoor activities during the early evenings. I truly love and look forward to this time of year.
Ah, “time”, I feel as though I talk a lot about time, most likely because it is the one commodity you cannot buy. Sell? Yes. Trade? Yes. Although, you cannot buy more time, which is why it is so important to spend your time doing the things you love. Sometimes that means saying, “no” to certain requests – as hard as it may be.
The following article was published by the Mayo Clinic last summer. It outlines why you sometimes need to say, “no”, when to say, “no”, and how to say, “no”.
Stress relief: Learn how to say no
Be honest with yourself. Is your plate piled too high with deadlines and obligations that you’re trying to squeeze in between meetings? Are you trying to cram too many activities into too little time? If so, stress relief can be as straightforward as just saying no.
Why say no?
There are countless worthy requests out there just waiting to eat up your free time and increase your stress. It’s easy to create stressful situations in your life if you don’t turn down requests for your time and talents.
If you don’t, who will make costumes for the school play or coach your children’s Little League team? The answer may not be simple, but you should still consider these reasons for making sure it’s not you.
* Saying no can be good for you. Saying no is not a selfish act. In fact, it may be the most beneficial thing that you can do for your family and your other commitments. When you say no, you’ll be able to spend quality time on the things you’ve already said yes to.
* Saying no can allow you to try new things. Just because you’ve always helped plan the company softball tournament doesn’t mean that you have to keep doing it forever. Saying no will free up time to pursue other hobbies or interests.
* Yes isn’t always the best answer. If you’re overcommitted and under a lot of stress, you’ve got a much better chance of becoming sick, tired or just plain crabby, which won’t benefit you or anyone else.
* It’s important to recognize other people. Let those around you come through. Although others may not do things exactly the same way you would, you can learn an important lesson by allowing others to help while gaining yourself valuable free time.
When to say no
Sometimes it’s tough to determine which activities deserve your time and attention. Use these strategies to evaluate obligations – and opportunities – that come your way.
* Find yourself. Saying no helps you prioritize the things that are important to you. You’ll gain time that you can commit to the things that you really want to do, such as leaving work at a reasonable hour to make time for a mind-clearing run at the end of the day. Examine your current obligations and overall priorities before making any new commitments. Ask yourself if the new commitment is important to you. If it’s something that you feel strongly about, by all means do it.
* Weigh the yes-to-stress ratio. Is the new activity that you’re considering a short- or long-term commitment? Taking an afternoon to bake a batch of cookies for the school bake sale will take far less of your precious time than heading up the school fundraising committee for an entire year. If an activity is going to end up being another source of stress in your life – especially for the long term – take a pass.
* Let go of guilt. If friends want to get together for an impromptu evening out on the town when you’ve already scheduled a quiet evening at home with your partner, it’s okay to decline their offer. Do what you’ve set out to do and don’t veer off that path because of feelings of guilt or obligation. It will only lead to additional stress in your life.
* Keep your current commitments in check. If you have relatives coming over for dinner, don’t go overboard. Order pizza or ask them to bring a dish to share.
* Sleep on it. Are you tempted by a friend’s invitation to volunteer at your old alma mater or join a weekly golf league? Take a day to think over the request and respond after you’ve been able to assess your current commitments as well as the new opportunity.
How to say no
No. Nope. Nah. See how simple it is to say one little word, allowing you to take a pass on nonpriorities? Of course, there are always instances when it’s just not that easy. Here are some things to keep in mind when you need to say no:
* Practice full disclosure. Don’t fabricate reasons to get out of an obligation. The truth is always the best way to turn down a friend, family member or co-worker.
* Let them down gently. Many good causes land at your door, and it can be tough to turn them down. Complimenting the person or group’s effort while saying that you’re unable to commit at this time helps to soften the blow and keep you in good graces.
Saying no won’t be easy if you’re used to saying yes all the time. But learning to say no is an important part of simplifying your way to a better, less stressful life.
The will to act boldly is a quality usually exemplified in the movies and somehow, it always turns out blissful for the leading character at the end of the movie. In real life that isn’t always the case. We have no guarantees of a happy ending, yet we must push forward. It is through these challenging experiences and the valuable lessons you learn from them, that make life worth living.
Strength is not only determined by the size of your biceps or how much weight you can lift at the gym. True strength is what lives in your heart and gets you out of bed in the morning when you think you do not have the strength to go on. There were times in my life when I ‘went on’ simply because I had no other choice. In my case, no matter how tired I was, how sick I was, and no matter what I had to do the following day, I dragged myself out of your bed at a moment’s notice when my daughter Vanessa would cry. You find a way. The great thing about life is that just when you think you can’t take on any more, you dig deep down and find a little bit of effort left to keep you going. That’s how you get strong. Overcoming painful things builds strength and character.
Take some time and answer the following questions honestly. Keep your answers handy for those days when you feel you don’t have it in you to keep moving forward.
• WHAT THINGS IN YOUR LIFE HAVE GIVEN YOU THE GIFT OF PERSONAL STRENGTH?
• WHEN DO YOU FEEL THE STRONGEST?
• WHAT ARE SOME WAYS YOU CAN HONOR YOUR ABILITIES?
Let’s face it, you are living with different worries today than you had last year. It’s during these times you need to be strong and have faith in yourself, in your choices. You need to decide to push your fear out of the way and move forward. This is still your life, you still have the power to decide how you react to adversity, and you still have knowledge to make wise choices. These “difficult times” aren’t happening to you, it’s simply a part of your journey and your story.
So, rather than wasting your time thinking about the ‘worries’, spend your time and energy strengthening you, your foundation. After all, you still need to get out of bed tomorrow and face the same issues, the same “problems”, you may as well do it with gusto.
For attractive lips, speak words of kindness. For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people. For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry. For beautiful hair, let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day. For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone. People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms. As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands; one for helping yourself, and the other for helping others.
